I always considered myself to be closer to my mom than my dad. My parents split up when I was super young so for pretty much all of my life I have gone back and forth between them, seeing my dad on holidays and living with my mom in Vancouver. I never realized that I had a problem with it until a few years ago. When I was little I just considered it to be completely ok and that it was just how things were. Every holiday I would get on the plane to fly to Saskatchewan to see my dad and my family and I really enjoyed doing that but after so many years of doing that I felt like it was getting harder and harder to leave after the holidays. I started thinking about moving to my dad's... but I didn't say anything to my mom. I waited quite a while and still didn't say anything. Then one day my mom told me that she was thinking about moving away from Vancouver. She told me that she thought that it would be a good idea if we moved to Toronto so we could be close to her sister and her family. That's when I decided to tell her that I wanted to move to my Dad's.
My mom didn't particularly like my idea that much... she made it quite clear. I could see the hurt in her eyes when I said it. I could tell that she was wondering why I would want to leave her. After a while I could see that she was getting mad. She asked me why I would want to move there, so I told her that I missed my dad and that I wanted to live somewhere where I could pretty much do anything, like go quadding and skidooing. And I also told her that I really enjoyed working on the farm. She got even more angry after I explained it. She told me that if I moved to a small town I would have so much less opportunities than I would have living in the city. I told her that she grew up in a small town and she turned out great, but she argued back that she wished she wouldn't have grown up in a small town, she didn't have all the opportunities she would have wanted to have. "you'll miss me when you're there too you know" she said. I told her that I know I would miss her but that I still wanted to go there, just to see what it would be like to be there most of the time intead of just on holidays. "I hate not being able to see my family whenever" I said. she told me that SHE was my family. I told her that I obviously knew that and that I loved her but I want to be with my other family too.
About a month later after we had that argument, she was picking me up from my Dad's on her way to Ontario. I had been visiting my dad for about a month and she said that we would talk about the whole moving situation on the way to Ontario. I was so sure that I wouldn't be able to move to my dad's which upset me. Even though being in Toronto was awesome and there was so much to do I still felt like I wanted to move. My mom wasn't even there for the month that I was in Ontario because she went back to Vancouver to work for a bit. So, I decided that I was going to just go to my dad's and stay, at that point I was getting pretty mad because I felt like she wasn't even listening to anything that I was saying. So, I flew to my dad's. She knew but she didn't know that I was planning on staying. I felt bad but after a while of being at my dad's I called and told her that I had made up my mind, that I was 15 and that I was old enough to choose if I wanted to live with her or my dad. She was pretty mad. But in the end.. I think it was good for everyone. Now I'm enjoying being here and I'm glad we got over the conflict.
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